Journal Entry 26: It’s by Grace

Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 26: It’s by Grace.

A co-worker and I were joking around about the hardships of parenting our growing kids. I told her in the end at least we get Heaven. About to leave the room she laughingly told me she hopes she makes it. I paused at the door, about to laugh with her and leave the room. I didn’t though, because, I felt something of Jesus in that moment. Sometimes, sadly and foolishly, I ignore those moments, but this time I stopped and said what I think I was supposed to.

          “Remember,” I smiled, trying to not be too serious. “We’re saved by grace. It’s by grace, not us.” She paused and for a moment seemed to take in my words. With that I jokingly added that neither of us were perfect, so thank Jesus we have grace. Then, I left the room to continue on my rounds.

          I don’t know what affect my words had on my co-worker, If nothing else I hope the reminder about grace gave her hope. I know my words affected me. That morning, or for a few weeks really, I’ve been beating myself up about several things. One of those things is God’s love for me, my chance of Heaven and being with Jesus. I’m no one special. There are no major moves being made by me and there will be no stories of any accomplishments made by me.

I’m a husband and a father trying to take care of the blessings God has given me. Do I openly speak of Jesus, yes, or sometimes. I don’t deny Jesus, but it’s not like I’m having church gatherings. I work at a church daycare; which, is at least a Christian based, Jesus based, job. Yet, I’m the fixer of leaky faucets. I serve kids food and take out the trash. I’m not exactly leading youths to faith and hope in Jesus. I’m writing these journal entries, and at the time of writing this entry I had 1 read in the last week. I sure hope that one reader was helped. I want to be a light in the dark, but right now I feel like a dying Christmas light on the backside of a house. I ain’t lighting much.

Does my deeds get me into heaven? No, of course not. I can not, in any way, buy or work my way into Heaven. All fall short of perfection, and I am far, FAR, from an exception. So why am I letting my lack of light in the dark mess with my idea of how much God loves me? Because I’m a mortal fool with no real understanding of God’s love. God loves me. God loves us in a way that we humans just can’t seem to understand. I don’t have to be something special for God to love me. My words today about grace, those words, maybe meant more for me in the end, brought me back to the truth, God’s truth. I am loved, and it’s not some human love that falls away one day and might pop back up if I’m a good boy.

I am loved. God’s love, true love that doesn’t know indecisiveness or selfishness. I matter. My life matters, not because of me, but because God decided to make me and love me. This, to me, changes everything in a mortal man’s perspective. If I matter for me, well, that ain’t much. If life mattered for me, well, that’s coming to an end eventually and shortly compared to the lifespan of a tree and even shorter if we’re talking planets and God’s angels. But if my life matters to our God, to Jesus, well then, that’s an eternal thing. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. Maybe I’m already doing it, but I know I’m loved, and that means everything.

It's by Grace we are saved. Jesus suffered a mortal life and then a mortal’s death to rescue us with his love and grace. No amount of money in an offering plate will change this. No matter how many homeless shelters we build or hearts we shine the light of Jesus on will change how we are saved and given grace to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Shine what light you have, help whoever you can, and give what you can, but don’t think this buys you entry. It does not. Jesus is the one that saves us, and he does it with only a couple requirements.

1.    You have to give your life over to Jesus accepting his gift of death in your place, so that you can be saved. To do this, yes, you have to actually believe in Jesus. ( Following Jesus, believing in him, will take the rest of your life. This is not something you just do one day and then you’re finished. Loving Jesus means refocusing your attention on him as often as you need to. If you’re me, you may have to refocus every day and sometimes more than once a day to keep your mind and heart from wandering.)

2.    Love your Lord God with all you are. (I’ll admit, I’m not entirely sure how to do this. I’m still working on it, and I fumble this sometimes more than I’d like. Life is crazy around here, and so, I have to give myself reminders to focus on Jesus, remember, Jesus. I’ve found listening to the Bible on the way to work helps set me up early in the morning.)

3.    Love others as you love yourself. This one, well, I am trying to work on, but truthfully I’m sort of antisocial, so being around others is an effort all in itself.

This isn’t easy, and I won’t lie to you and try to soften this up. I’ve been saved by Jesus since I was 19yrs old. I’m 42 at the moment, and I am still growing, learning, screwing up, and having to thank Jesus for loving a struggling man like me. The good news, Jesus does love me, and he has saved me by grace. You can have the same.

          Somewhere, in a book, a movie, maybe some story or preacher, not sure, but somewhere I remember being told people don’t wait to get clean to come to Jesus. At the time this was amazing news to me, though, I should’ve already figured that part out. I had been to Jesus, dirty and sinful, and Jesus had accepted me, rescued me. Still, the news struck me as something I hadn’t been told before, but it was right. We don’t get all cleaned up; before we go to Jesus. That wouldn’t make any sense.

          Jesus will take us as we are, dirt and sin, and all our concerning history, he will take us. Jesus doesn’t need us to be cleaned up first. He wants us to come to him, so he can rescue us, and then, from within us working in our hearts first, Jesus will begin to make us better men and women. By grace, Jesus saves us, and with his love he then goes to work on us.

          You don’t need to be perfect. Jesus loves you. If you don’t have Jesus, he’s ready and waiting on you. If you do have Jesus, but you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and Jesus is still with you. Speak to him, and know Jesus loves you.

Trust that Jesus Loves You.