Journal Entry 27: Faith Lesson by Homeowners Insurance?
Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.
Journal Entry 27: Faith Lesson by Homeowners Insurance?
Before I dig into this topic allow me to give you a tiny bit of back story that will lend some understanding. Once upon a time I bought a house, and in buying a house I learned first hand what escrow is. Escrow, by simple terms, is the bundling of your property taxes, homeowners insurance, interest on the loan, and finally your actual debt payment. If your property tax goes up, your escrow goes up which raises your overall mortgage payment at the end of the month. The same can be said if your homeowners insurance goes up.
Funny thing that isn’t funny at all is that your homeowners insurance, which you must have legally if you haven’t paid off your home loan, can go up for any reason the insurance company decides. Mine jumped up from $1,500 a year to just shy of $3,000 a year. In turn my escrow jumped way up. This left me with a mortgage payment that was once $650 a month to now $925 a month. An almost $300 dollar increase, and the insurance’s reason . . . well, they had decided to raise their insurance cost for my entire state. I, a man who has never even taken out a claim, got caught in the explosion of a rate hike.
Anyone in the housing market within the U.S. probably looking at that mortgage cost and thinking how in the mess of craziness did I have a $650 mortgage. If you’re not thinking it, oh well, I’m going to explain, briefly, anyways. I got this house during the fall of the housing market over a decade ago as a foreclosure with a program that gave a lovely incentive to those buying foreclosed homes in my state. Jesus hooked me up with this house, a true blessing, but that is another story.
Back to: Homeowners Insurance.
Last night I discovered, by an email, that my insurance had jumped up and my new mortgage payment was approximately $300 dollars more than what it should be. I was, using polite wording here, upset. At the beginning of this year, say February, my wife and I did some strategic moves with our finances. We managed to pay off a personal loan that we’d taken out to get a new roof on our house. (Foreclosed homes come with never ending problems. You’ve been warned.) This freed up over $200 a month for us. Next move was to get my car loan refinanced through my bank with a smaller interest rate and a chunk of money put down. We did it, and brought our car payment down by a good $150 bucks. That’s a win! We were ready to start our year out with an extra $350 dollars a month more than we’ve had in a while. Starting to see something of an annoyance yet?
$350 a month extra and plans to use it to pay down the car debt entirely by next year, yet, escrow. All that maneuvering my wife and I had done was washed away by a sudden rate hike by our homeowners insurance. I was livid, angry, mad, and I felt betrayed. At the time I felt like this was a targeted attack against me and my family, not by insurance, but by God. In the moment it seemed to me every time I tried to get ahead for my family, something smashed me back down to the stones to keep on struggling for a way up and out. This isn’t true, my life story proves it, but at the time, it was how I felt.
“God, what the heck?” I was on hold with my insurance company, and I wanted to punch a hole through my desk. More likely I’d break my hand, so probably good I didn’t try. Every call I made, each person I spoke to, a dead end. Finally, I gave up the fight for the night and told myself to try again tomorrow. But I was still angry with God, angry that he let this happen and held us down, AGAIN. God, being God, dropped a rescue line down for me within my own fuming fires.
“I helped you get in a better spot to survive this.” God’s words seemed to tell me.
God knows what’s coming way before any of us do, so I could see the logic of his words, but I didn’t take his rescue line. I went to bed last night still angry and had a lousy night of unrest met by a struggling morning to get up and get to work. I don’t like to be angry, it takes up too much energy, and I knew, I knew, that I was in the wrong.
In the kitchen at my job before even the sun had begun to rise, I paused. Just finishing a book on my Audible, Wind and Truth from Brandon Sanderson (an awesome book), I needed to pick a new book to listen to. I took a deep breath, apologized to God, and asked him to help me choose something that would strengthen my bond with him. I needed it. Scrolling through my library nothing really stood out for me. I had a few extra credits, so I went on the search for a new book. I typed in my favorite Christian author, John Eldredge, and went through a list of his books. I chuckled at the fact that I already owned half of his works. It was further down the list I saw a book that I felt God had put neon signs around saying ‘pick this one.’
‘Walking with God,’ by: John Eldredge.
For a while now I’ve been asking God to please help me understand, because I don’t understand. I thirst for a mentor to come along in my life and show me how to better live for God, for my family, for myself. In the stories I love there’s almost always some old mentor person that shows up with a genuine desire to simply help a character. I want that! This book, ‘Walking with God’ seemed to be one God wanted me to choose. So I did, and I started listening to it today. I’m only on chapter 3, but wow, yes, God picked out a good book for me.
One of the things that came through the book, several good points were made and stories told just in the few chapters I’ve been through, but I’ll focus on just one for the point of this article. One point was to be thankful for what God has given you or had done for you instead of focusing what you don’t have or didn’t get. I heard that, and the story behind it, and I nodded my head in agreement. I knew, without a second of doubt, that God had rescued my family from a financial blow that could have really hurt us. If we hadn’t been able to pay off that loan, and if my bank hadn’t allowed me to refinance with them, we’d had been in real trouble.
With the foolish anger gone and me finally able to take that rescue line God sent for me, I was ready for a different hit. God, with love, hit me with another few words I knew all too well to be true. ‘You are not trusting in me.’
“No,” I admitted. “I am not.” I don’t trust people. It’s not a good thing, and no I don’t have any illusions that the ‘lone wolf’ persona is cool. It’s stupid and lonely and in nature the ‘lone wolf’ of the pack is hunted and killed for the better survival of the pack. I don’t trust people, because I’ve been betrayed more times than I feel should be able to happen in one lifetime. I’m not talking about betrayal by strangers or salesmen. I was betrayed by family, by friends, by people I loved, and some I still love but wouldn’t dare trust them with my heart again. It’s a problem within me, and God just showed me it was a problem I was having even with him.
God was ready for this though, as he seemingly picked out a great book. The author touched on this very topic and deeper. I don’t expect an easy life as a Christian, but I sure do try to make one happen. I don’t wait on God’s word or even ask him for his opinion, I set up plans and ideas, and then I do them. You’d think, after so many failures on my part, and God coming in to rescue me, that I’d be smarter by now. I’m a slow learner.
In the long run of what wasn’t even 48 hours I found a new insurance company and got a lower, not what it used to be, but lower rate. My foolish temper is gone, and I have to admit to God I was in the wrong and I am thankful he helped keep my family out of a bad situation this year. In the honesty of calm winds I can easily recognize and admit that most of my life is God rescuing me and setting me up for what he knows is coming. I’ve learned, or better said, I’ve been reminded today of a few things.
1. I need to trust that Jesus loves me. My life, our lives, aren’t meant to be sunshine and rainbows. That is not what is promised, we are in a broken world with an enemy that hates us. I need to trust that Jesus loves me, and I need to follow him.
2. I need to trust that God loves me, and just as importantly in my screwed up head, I need to trust that God will never abandon/betray me. God isn’t about trying to make my dreams come true. God is about loving me, forming a relationship with me, and making me the best I can be for the good. ‘Walking with God’, is a good source on this.
3. I need to ask God. I don’t ask, and I don’t look for answers, nearly enough. I need to talk to God, and see what he says about the choices in my life. ‘Walking with God,’ is also a good source for this, seems to be the theme of the book so far.
Through a spike in my homeowners insurance that was a cliffside to climb and is now more like a stubbornly large hill to hike up, God taught me a lesson, a few of them.
Trust that Jesus Loves You.