Journal Entry 34: Christians Aren’t Exempt

Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 34: Christians Aren’t Exempt

          Playing catch up with this article, the title came to me with ease. My cousin just texted me today talking about rec sports starting up in the area, and he wasn’t sure if I wanted to put my kids in. He put his daughter in soccer last year and she loved it. I’m assuming they’ll be attending this year as well, and his two sons might get in on the action. I replied with a LOL emoji and then a blank look emoji after a short text about being broke with a lot of things coming up that I have to somehow pay for. He laughed with a reply that he was fighting the struggle as well.

          Christians do not get a free ride down some easy lane or paved path. This year alone I paid off a loan, reduced another, and thought I was about to have some extra income. My home insurance jumped up and I could only find one other that was slightly cheaper. Thought I’d saved the family $300 a month, turns out the money gets to go somewhere else anyways. Life of escrow, if you know it, you feel my pain.

          I bought a new car, got the warranty, thinking I’d save money in the long run since my last two vehicles transmissions died and that is beyond my ability to fix. They were both cheap vehicles that made it just shy of 300,000 miles, so they did well, but they died none the less. New car broke down, the water pump was leaking a small stream out the side of the engine. Even with my warranty, the repair came to $700 dollars thanks to needing the water pump and the cooling thermostat replaced, sigh.

          New washer went out, got another from my old boss for a decent price. Two weeks ago, it went out. I tore that washer apart to find the problem. Everything was intact. Shocks looked good, still replaced them, didn’t help. Roter on the back, basically a disc with magnets, was in great shape. Spider arm, something you can’t get to without taking almost the entire machine apart, was intact and solid. Reprogrammed the computer with special codes from the manufacturer, didn’t do a thing. I tried! After several prayers while wringing clothes out with my hands, I admitted failure. I bought another washer from my sister-in-law, and this will be the fourth washer in the last 5/6 years. I know I got a big family but good grief, please, Jesus, help me out here.

          School’s about to start back up, so in the chaos of home insurance/escrow, repairs to a supposed to be new car, a broken washer, and an a/c unit that blew through another capacitor last week, my bank account is crying. This is all on top of having a newborn baby, missing days at work for family things that required me to be there, and yeah, life is hard even for Christians. We don’t get some special roadway that bypasses the struggles of life. No, I honestly think that God allows such struggles for a reason. That doesn’t make it any easier though, not at all.

          When you are a Christian, you do get a few things to help counter such times though. One, your faith can genuinely help deal with fears and anxiety over money and struggles. I think my bank account has cried more this year than in the last five, and I haven’t had an anxiety attack yet. Another is hope, hope helped me climb my way through the problems thinking that hopefully there is some lesson at the end of all this and perhaps cake too (cake being a reference as something good, something good, please.) Not last, but a big one for me, is the fact that I know God is with me, God does love me, and so whatever I’m going through, Jesus is there by my side helping me through it. These and more allow a Christian, usually, to see things differently.

          My home insurance took away the money I thought I was going to use to pay off my car early and get my family in an even better position next year. Yet, turn it around, my getting a loan paid off and my car loan reduced may have been God helping prepare me for hardships with home insurance that I would have been in real trouble with otherwise. Still hurts to not move forward, but I’m sure thankful I didn’t get slammed backwards with higher debts and no way to pay them.

          My car goes down right after our baby is born and summer was upon us. I was planning on getting a giant, blow-up, waterslide for the kids this year, but the car emptied my bank account. Sucks, yes, yet, cars break down, anything man made, breaks down eventually. We still got the awesome waterslide, found a bigger one, with a bouncy house on the side, two slides, a water tunnel, just awesome, and cheaper! It went on sale about the time I paid for the car repairs. Not perfect, but the car runs great now, and the kids got an awesome slide better than the one I was planning to buy.

          Washer died, and I was so upset. Money was short at the time. We’ve had a rough year, and I’ve only mentioned some of it. I didn’t have money for a new washer; I barely had money for the shocks I bought in hopes that they’d fix the problem. After weeks of wringing out clothes with my hands and fumbling around in the washer, we got another washer for more money and I’m still paying on it. I don’t know what to tell you on this one far as blessings or any good thing from this, yet. It was painful, I tried and prayed hard, and it just wouldn’t happen. Sometimes God allows things to happen, and you may never get an answer why. This is where you just have to trust him and keep moving forward.

          The fight goes on, and I am thankful I have Jesus with me even when it seems like we’re tripping over fallen trees and dodging snakes. Jesus didn’t have an easy life even before he was humiliated and crucified. An ending he allowed to happen for us. Jesus was hunted, chased out of towns, walked hundreds of miles from place to place, and slept on the ground with rocks for pillows. The man is the son of God, The God, and he suffered a hard life as a servant. The amazing part, Jesus loves us anyways. Jesus enjoyed, from my understanding, his time with us and looks forward to an eternity with us.

          If you look at the apostles lives you won’t find easy paths there either. If you became a Christian to get an easier life with less obstacles . . . well, best put on your hiking boots underneath the armor of God. We don’t get exempt from troubles; we get Jesus to help us through them and sometimes throw them at us (I feel like.)

          I’m still here. The journey has been interesting, though not entirely new to me, and yet, I’m still here. The bills are paid, food makes it to the plates every meal, and I’m pretty sure my family is still spoiled as ever. So, yes, hard times, bumpy roads, but Jesus has met our needs every time.

          What is the point of this journal? Me, venting, mostly, but also demonstrating that life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine for Christians. We are blessed in ways to help us deal with the struggles; we get hope and joy that unsaved just don’t understand.

          There’s a resilience God builds within his people that I’m wanting to explain, yet I feel like I’m doing a poor job of it. Life happens, broken appliances, run-down cars, escrow leaps, and sickness that takes our loved ones when we’re not ready for them to go. God is in it all with us, and I have to trust him. I don’t understand everything that has happened this year, I may never understand it all, but I do know Jesus’ love has proven true time and time again. I also know that this is not the end, but a momentary home. The struggles here may be building me up, teaching me, challenging me, but it’s all a glimpse to the eternity Jesus has given me the grace to attend with him.

Trust that Jesus Loves You.