Journal Entry 36: 5th. Anniversary

Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 36: 5th. Anniversary

Being parents of a large family comes with some struggles, some stress, some laughs, and then just some strange yet cute situations. We had one of those situations over the weekend. This year hasn’t been the best financially. On top of no money all my paid vacation time was used up staying home with my wife and newborn earlier this year. So, when it came to our anniversary on Sunday we did things a little differently. I think we both were quite happy with the outcome.

The first of our gifts were letters. I’m a writer, so of course I ended up making myself stop on the 5th page of my love letter to Rainy. (Just realized I wrote a 5 page love letter on our 5th anniversary, neat.) Saturday, a little after midnight, dead tired and wanting my pillow, I gave Rainy her handwritten letter that I stapled together for ease, and then I kissed her, told her I love her, and passed out in our bed. (‘Went to bed?’ You may ask. There was no chance of sex. She was about to start her period and was in pain.) I’ve also learned over the years, if you want Rainy to have time to enjoy my letters, get them to her when everyone else is asleep, and she can actually have time and peace to read.

Following morning I got up by 5am and found a love letter from Rainy on my desk. She is not a writer, and it took her most of the night to write it, but it was a wonderful letter that makes a husband feel like he’s loved and desired. Thanks to me being an early riser, I was able to enjoy her letter with peace and a good cup of coffee. Our anniversary had started off well, simple, almost high school sweethearts kind of style. Two hours later the house began to wake up.

My anniversary morning turned from a wonderful letter and a delicious cup of coffee to ‘dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, daaaad,’ from several children, while I made waffles for the family breakfast. Rainy slept in with our newest member, Ember. It’s the least I can do for her on the weekends, so I try to let her grab what sleep she can. The rest of the morning was a typical weekend morning in our house. Rainy woke up just shy of lunchtime, and she gave me my next gift. She bought us lunch.

Lunch, some chicken and fries from a place we both like, was what really got me to write this article. I wish I’d taken a picture, but the moment was ours and I decided to leave it that way. We ended up at the kids’ table in our living room (small, wooden, art table), our to-go boxes taking up the entire thing, and our butts barely fitting in the tiny chairs. Our 3yr. Old, Arena, joined us with big smiles and completely knowing she was going to get some fries.

This moment, simple and cute, made me smile. My wife asked me what was so funny, as she had noticed my childish grin. I told her it was just something you don’t usually see or read in romance stories. There we were in our living room during quiet time after the kids’ lunch, and we were eating our anniversary meal at our kids table with Arena happy as a puppy being given fries and sips of mom’s soda. The entire scene just felt good, wholesome, and real.

With our meal, actually before the meal, I sat Rainy in front of my computer and played an animated video I’d made for her with each scene revealing pictures of our journey together thus far. She wiped away happy tears, and I knew I’d made something she loved. Moments like these, homemade videos, love letters, and a meal shared right there in our living room turned our anniversary into one we’ll cherish. This is what real love and real relationships are like. We had a fight a week ago, we kissed and made up, several times, and we had a loving, cute, anniversary the next weekend. This is what the reality of marriage is, and I’m glad I get to share it with you all.

Yep, we be Christians in this house, and we still fighting the same uphill battles as the rest of society. We just do it in a different way. Where Rainy and I fought over a difference of opinion for three days, we also remained close, prayed and talked much, and took it to Jesus often. When we made up, we did so as two people who know we love each other, know we are loved and blessed by Jesus, and understand there’s going to be battles but the war we will win together. With an anniversary on the way, we did the best we could with what we had, and it turned out cute and amazing.

Relationships, marriages in for the long haul especially, are not always going to be glowing moments of puppy love. Love, real love, everyday love, takes effort and sacrifice at times you may not feel like it. There will be moments of struggle, and you just have to do the best you can and know that Jesus loves you and sees you. I would have loved to take my wife on another mountain vacation with several days to ourselves, but the budget laughed at such an idea. It laughed hard. We made a day for ourselves anyways.

A loving husband will find ways to show and give his love some how some way regardless of money. Be a little creative, and a loving wife will cherish something from the heart. A loving wife understands that money comes and goes. She will find a way to show her man love, and the benefit here is most men aren’t difficult in this area. Don’t beat yourself up because you can’t afford a cruise this year, and don’t think that you’re a failure just because the best you can give is a love letter right now. Real life has real ups and real downs. Give it to Jesus, ask him for help to make the moment special anyways, and do something.

The love letter Rainy wrote to me made my heart feel hugged by the loving truthfulness of her words. The fact that she took the little bit of money she had from babysitting and spent on us to provide lunch turned into a silly and cute moment. Rainy told me her cheeks hurt from smiling the whole time she read my letter, and the video I made brought her happy tears. All of this took time, effort, and only a fraction of money, and we loved every bit of it. Don’t underestimate the power of a gift that takes time and effort from the heart. Sometimes those can be the greatest gift given.

Trust that Jesus Loves You.