Journal Entry 42: Give me love, then give me purpose.

Jesus, if you're not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 42: Give me love, then give me purpose.

          My first desire, learned through the trials of life, is Jesus’ love. Give me love, then, please, give me purpose.

          Give me purpose, a quest, a mission, real purpose, Jesus. Make me a light in the dark that actually helps people come to you, please.

          Jesus’s love and forgiveness is the greatest gift we can be given, but like anything given to us, we have to choose to accept that gift. Though the world will disagree with me, the greatest and most important thing in life is accepting Jesus Christ. Everything else is but dust and shadows in comparison. Christians, those who have accepted Jesus and are building a relationship with him can’t save people, but they can be a guide. What we can do is be a voice speaking against the noise of this world, so that hopefully some may hear and come to know the man, Jesus.

A misconception some have is that because we follow Jesus were supposed to be flawless. Christians aren't perfect, by definition, we are broken people. The difference between a Christian and everyone else is that Christians go to Jesus for healing, forgiveness, hope, and so much more, including, becoming a better person. Why define this, because I'm expressing a desire for purpose in life, and for me, that purpose is tied to Jesus. Jesus saved me, and thankfully that doesn’t mean he’s finished with me. This messed up being known as me needs a lot of work, and Jesus is up to the task.

Adam, the first man on the scene, was given purpose, a calling. His job was to care for the garden. Noah was tasked with building a giant floating box to survive the flood. Abraham was to listen to God and go where he was told and lay down the roots of what would become an entire Bible and God's people. Moses was made a leader of an entire people and a friend of God. David became a king, a poet, and a man-after-God’s-own-heart. None of these were jobs for money and retirement. All of them were God given purpose.

The apostle Paul left his work and the Jewish ministry to follow Jesus on a purpose driven life that helped start the Christian movement. Paul could have worked and earned a good life. He was a well-respected man with his own mission. He gave it up for someone more important, Jesus, and Jesus’s purpose for Paul’s life.

          I’m highlighting major people in the Bible in hopes some of them will be recognized by readers. But don’t let that distinction fool you, all of us have a calling, a God given purpose, on this Earth. You may be destined to lead a church, become a public speaker, or any line of things as each of us our unique children of God. I read of one man whose life mission was to donate one million dollars to Christian ministry. That was the purpose he felt called to. My purpose might be me trying to be a loving husband and father that teaches of Jesus through my actions and these words. I don’t know yet, but I’m hoping Jesus drops me some loud hints along the way.

So I ask, Jesus, to please give me purpose. I don't want to just waste away my remaining years earning an income for some retirement that will slowly kill me with boredom. I want to help, I want to be a voice against the noise for Jesus. What I don’t want to do is move without Jesus’ blessing. The idea of spending years chasing a purpose that Jesus was never going to bless is a real fear of mine. Hopefully Jesus will guide me in the direction and through choices that lead me along his path.

The world is . . . it seems like its getting darker and darker. I could role out a bunch of statistics that tell us suicides are up, Christianity is on the decline in first world countries, but I shouldn’t have to. The way the news attacks us with one tragedy after another tells us things aren’t so great. I try to dodge that kind of information dump, yet I can’t turn a blind eye against those around me. I just got asked, this week, to pray for someone I used to work with. He tried to hang himself and almost succeeded in taking his own life. He’s got a wife and two kids. Ignorance would call the man selfish or a fool, but the truth is life is hard in different ways for each of us.

Friend of mine is fighting one fallout after another in her life, and she came to me this week telling me she feels like she’s fighting back depression. This woman has fought everyday for survival sense I’ve known her, and she’s usually ready to laugh and smile, but this week she’s struggling just to get up and get through another day. Some of us know this story or pieces of it in our own life.

My cousin is afraid he might lose his job, and that is a real fear for him. He and his family have been through such times, and the job may not be secure for reasons he can’t control. In my area this is a very real fear as two large industries just closed down permanently. Those closures are only beginning to affect our area and will continue to for years to come.

Our world is not stable, and the further people stretch away from Jesus the worse things will become. In just this week I’ve been reminded several times of the hardships this life brings upon all of us. I want to help. I want to know and follow the purpose/calling God has for me, so that I can be helpful where Jesus wants me. This isn’t an easy road, and I’m aware of that. David, Moses, Paul, those I mentioned above, followed God through a life of struggles and hardships that helped change the world. I’m hoping for something a little humbler, but I choose purpose over easiness.

Imagine being able to open a home to a family that lost theirs. I want to have that ability, so families in need can be given time to get back up on their feet.

Imagine a restaurant that gave out free food to those who needed it. Not just another soup kitchen, I’ve worked at those before. They are good, but they lack something. I want a place where a single mom/dad can bring their kids to get a meal and not feel ashamed they had to bring them there.

Imagine a food truck that had ‘Jesus Fed 5,000’ on the side of the truck, and that truck’s mission was to feed 5,000 people for free. This food truck drove around the local area, set up shop, and fed anyone and everyone a meal. That’s something I want to make happen someday.

Imagine what Jesus has for us in our calling with him. I want such a purpose, and I’m going after it, I hope. Not going to tell you I got it figured out. I am moving towards ideas I hope Jesus wants for me, and I will keep praying and hoping for clarity along the way. I don’t want retirement, I want purpose, Jesus blessed, purpose.

Trust that Jesus loves you.